


Considerations

by iie_wakarimasen



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst and Feels, F/M, No Smut, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-24
Updated: 2016-08-24
Packaged: 2018-08-10 17:51:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7855063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iie_wakarimasen/pseuds/iie_wakarimasen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the kiss in the fade but before the balcony Solas did some thinking.  </p><p>Standard disclaimer, I own nothing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Considerations

I… may be. Yes. If I could take a little time to think. There are... considerations.

He considers,  
The blood on his hands is deep enough to drown the world and she is pure and kind and so very young. If there was a god he could pray to he would be begging for strength on his knees right now. She looks at him with eyes the bright pale emerald of the fade and her admiration is like a knife to his soul. He melts in the grace of her touch and it's too much and it's not enough, never enough, and he knows how this story ends. Knows that these bloodstained hands will one day destroy all she loves, all he loves. How can he dare to hold her? 

He considers,  
It's been centuries since someone looked at him like this. He has been a general, a king, a rebel god, and a monster in the dark for ages uncounted and she sees none of it. She looks at him and sees the man and wants him. Her desire is unashamed and achingly sweet, she hides nothing and he is undone by her wanting. Her kiss was sudden and shy and he, predator king, devoured her in return. She melted in his arms, submissive to his hunger and turning her away was almost more than he could bear. 

He considers,  
Failure, his own and those to come. She is brave and kind but this world is a cruel and ragged thing. The forces arrayed against them are overwhelming and they are so small. He cannot protect her, cannot save them. If they fail, she will die, they will all die. All his fault, again and again, his fault. How can he deny her anything?

He considers,  
So many years chasing duty, fighting battle after battle, does he even know what he wants anymore? He has crossed an ocean of loss and pain and found only her. He is cold and empty and so very alone and she is a light in the dark. Her touch is absolution and when they kissed he could almost forget the storm that is coming.

He considers,  
Her. Grace and wisdom he thought he killed with Arlathan. She is curious and playful, subtle and decisive, she moves through the world like a blade. She carries the weight of a thousand lives and does not break, does not let it make her cruel. She stares into the face of hatred and evil and her answer is always the same. Kindness, mercy, compassion, for everyone. Even him. She is the most beautiful thing he has ever seen and he is in no way worthy. 

He considers,  
She is real, and it changes everything, and it can't, it can't and he has to remember. He lies to her with his every breath why can't he bring himself to tell this one? If he tells her he loves her it will be the only truth he can give her, and she will curse him for it.

He considers,  
It would be kinder in the long run, but losing her would be more than he can bear.

He considers,  
No one ever accused him of kindness.


End file.
